Long Lines and Small Rooms and Confidence Builders

Opinion:  Applies to a conclusion or judgment which, while it remains open to dispute, seems true or probable to one's own mind.


I was asked this question yesterday by a friend in The Program: "How can I get to the place where I don't care so much about what people think of me?"  
I pondered my response carefully, thoughtfully.  "Good question," I replied.  "First, let me tell you how you can walk on water."  
It's quite a challenge for people pleasers with lousy self-esteem to disregard the opinions of others, real or imagined.


His question did make me think about how much of recovery and life itself is simply going through things a few times.  As SuperK is known to say: "Time takes time."  For most of us the process of learning how to live takes some repetitions.  Every time I worked through something I had a little more experience about how to live through it the next time.  I'm not always thrilled with this process.  I prefer to be struck; as in, struck patient, struck tolerant, struck confident.  I want to think it and have it be so.  I'm not interested in the steady, unspectacular work that leads to good outcomes.


I played basketball in high school and was very good at making my free throws.  This was an important part of my game because I couldn't score reliably from more than 2 or 3 feet when no one was around, and those opportunities didn't come too often.  So I figured if they were going to let me directly in front of the basket, all by myself, and try to score some points I was damn well going to make the shots.  The point is that I shot a hell of a lot more free throws in practice than I ever did in games.


If you pray for patience, god puts you in long lines.  If you pray for tolerance, god puts you in a room with someone who irritates the hell out of you.  If you pray for confidence, god puts you in situations where your confidence is tested.  I see good outcomes and want to be placed there by a magic hand.  I was never able to see all of the work that went into getting to that good place.


What other people think of me is none of my business.