Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving: an annual United States holiday instituted by the Pilgrims to give thanks to God for their survival.

Ah, yes, Thanksgiving.

Here's the thing about Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, and any other day buried under a mountain of expectations the size of Godzilla's big brother, Herb: it's Just Another Day. It's not even A Very Important Day. It's certainly not THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY EVER.

I personally don't like turkey or stuffing or pumpkin pie -- why does pumpkin get a pie, anyhow? Vegetables shouldn't get to be pies. We don't have potato pie or zucchini pie. Green bean casserole is tasteless, and corn bread pudding and candied yams are desserts that have infiltrated the dinner table illegally. I don't dislike these foods to be ornery, although I really enjoy being ornery. I really just don't like them. I find them unimaginative. Anything tastes good with a stick of butter and a pound of salt.

Several years ago SuperK and I traveled to New Orleans over Thanksgiving and went out for our holiday meal. We got dressed to the nines in jeans and comfortable shirts. Mine was comfortable, anyway; I can't in good faith speak for her, but she looked pretty comfortable. I remember peering across a table full of gumbo and jambalaya, and saluting her with a raw oyster swimming in hot sauce and horseradish.

I said: "You can take all the dried up turkey in the world and stick it where the sun don't shine."

"Pass the dirty rice," she said.

"That's what I'm talking about," I replied.

We hosted Thanksgiving a few times and tried to bookmanize it with a lot of non-traditional foods. Did not go over well. Did not go over well at all. I remember watching people pass on my homemade 8 grain bread for those little soft, white rolls that probably don't have any actual human food in them and thinking: "I am not controlling anything here."

And we try to make people confirm to stereotypes on these days. We think these days should go a certain way. For some of us, they do. There are a lot of nice, normal people out there who enjoy participating in traditional events. There are also a lot of toxic, dysfunctional families. Fistfights and arguments occur, and sometimes blood is spilled, gravy clumps, and the cops are called.

Moreover, a lot of us aren't particularly close to our loved ones. I hate pretending. I don't want to try to generate a lot of false enthusiasm on demand when I'm around people with whom I don't have a deep personal connection. I don't want that to sound bad. I want it to sound like the truth. It doesn't make me a good person or a bad person. I think A.A. has spoiled me in that regard. I have so many close friends. It's really a different dynamic being with people who are engaged in my life at that level.

I had a good time today, in spite of myself.