Crushed by Alcohol

"Never argue with an idiot.  They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

I am a walking, talking bullshit machine.

Crush:  To squeeze or force by pressure so as to alter or destroy structure; violent compression; mash, squeeze, pulp, squash, press, powder, beat, pound.

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing.  God either is, or He isn't.  What was our choice to be?"

"Crushed" is a good word.  Alcohol crushed me.  It beat me, squashed me, pounded me into submission.  I was mashed into a powder.  Pulped.  Turned into a liquid from a solid state.  The phrase "self-imposed crisis" is pretty apt, too.  I spent a great deal of time postponing and evading.  I'll do this good thing for myself tomorrow.  I'll stop this bad behavior later.  Because I knew I was lying to myself I had to dance and dodge, make myself invisible, fade away into the gloaming or the fog or the dust, into the distance.  Evade, evade, evade.  Evade the cops, evade my boss, evade my loved ones, definitely evade anyone in the healthcare industry.  What good is it to hear bad news when I can pretend there is no bad news?

Isn't it weird that we call healthcare an "industry?" 

"Their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve."  Amazingly hard to solve.  Astoundingly hard to solve.