Pondering Seaweed

With some minor smugness I will say that my first barrage of dubious wisdom aimed at a complaining alcoholic landed cleanly.  It's luck, probably, more than anything.  I hope that my detachment and tact played a part in this soft landing but alcoholics are famously touchy and prone to view almost anything in the most negative light.  I am/was encouraged to go to work on Complaining Alcoholic Number Two when he sent me this brief text yesterday after our phone call: "I'm glad you're my friend."  This is a guy I would say I'm friendly with rather than that we're friends.  Not close friends.  Jeez, I should look up the definition of a friend, I guess.  Let's say I don't look forward eagerly to running into him.  He does far too much complaining for me to much enjoy his company.  That being said he's a nice man who is feeling sorry for himself and spending little time looking at his part in things.  Fair enough.  It's a lot easier and a lot more fun to blame people, places, and things for my difficulties than to see my part in it.

Because I like walking in minefields and on thin ice here goes anyway: "I have been pondering our conversation yesterday (if him talking while I listen can be called a conversation) and applying it to my circumstances to see I could add some perspective.  Everyone has to find their own way to work a recovery program and my way is my way and that's all it is.  I will say that one thing that may be of help to you - it has been a tremendous help to me - is to be an active member of a recovery community.  For me that's A.A.  For some people it's church or counseling.  If I didn't have the opportunity and responsibility to find my own way I would never have found the way that works for me . . . but regular contact with others who are in similar circumstances has helped a lot.  I do hear in your voice a lot of isolation.  When I'm talking to other people I sometimes hear thoughts and ideas that surprise me and - even more important - I surprise myself by what comes out of my own mouth.  Sometimes I need to talk around a subject before I get to the answer, and that requires that someone is listening while I talk.  Look, I get it - if my choice was to spend the rest of my life in close proximity to fifty other people or live by myself on a remote desert island I could make that decision almost immediately.  But that phrase "My best thinking got me to where I was when I was drinking" rings true for me."

I may send this and I may not.  Complaining Alcoholic Number One has been around The Program for a lot longer and is a much closer friend.  

Pondering . . . Pondering .  .  .  Pondering . .  .