Would I ever! I light up like a Roman candle when I'm asked to pass along my own experience, strength, and hope. This lines up with one of the foundational principles of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous: namely, that we have to give it away if we want to keep it. When I talk to someone trying to get sober I can say "I know what you're going through" and mean it. I still can't believe how tickled I am when someone asks for my help/advice about the recovery process. At the end of my drinking no one was asking me advice about anything. People wouldn't ask me for directions or which hot sauce I liked best. I was not a font of wisdom about anything that wasn't addiction related; like where to buy excellent weed or which liquor store had good prices on cheap whiskey and bad quarts of beer.
I'm used to these conversations and I'm able to offer my help and provide some perspective on recovery as it happens in A.A. I've been sending him some snippets of info as they pop into my mind. I told him that he had broached many topics and issues that would take me a chunk of time to unravel and digest. I'm toying with sending him a note along these lines. The message is a lot more blunt and factual than I wanted to pass along during the initial conversation. Mulling it over . . .
"For many people who have a drinking and/or drug problem, recovery is a slow, ponderous process that takes some time and some patience. It's like turning a battleship around. It's like tipping over a Coke machine - it doesn't go over with the first push. You gotta get that baby rocking back and forth and then it goes over. I'm not suggesting that no one gets sober/clean on the first try but it's generally considered the exception rather than the rule. That being said there are a million different ways for this to go and alcoholics/addicts are famously unpredictable.
All I'm saying is it's best to be flexible and non-judgemental. Don't expect the best or fear the worst.
I've given my phone number to new people hundreds and hundreds of times over the years and I would estimate that I've received a call maybe 5% of the time? If that? And of those people who did call I would estimate that I took a second call maybe 5% of that time? In this case - because you've known me for so long and because I've been sober for so long and because you're advocating for me as an incredibly hip and cool Old Guy - these odds may be better. Your boy may be more receptive to reaching out, to picking up that 1,000 lb phone. (I'm going to leave out the fact that when I took his phone number I sent him a quick text introducing myself. Nothing. Radio silence. This text went winging out past the moon and is on it's way to the nebula Bazooka.) (Fair disclosure - I don't know what a nebula is, exactly, and I'm certain that there isn't one called Bazooka.) (Quick addendum: but wouldn't "Bazooka" be a great name? The term actually was coined by a comedian a hundred years ago who built - as a stage prop - a fictitious, weird-looking, non-functional musical instrument that he called a Bazooka and that was picked up by the military in WWII because the lethal bazooka kind of looks like the funny-fake musical instrument bazooka which would be an excellent name for a heavy metal band. Bad Bazooka!)
But, man!, what an honor to be asked! To be given the opportunity to pass along The Message. His son is not much older than I was when I staggered into The Rooms. Lots of damage was done but much more was presented.
P.S.: The Kid did respond and we've texted back and forth a bit. It's a promising start.
No comments:
Post a Comment