"This is indeed the kind of giving that actually demands nothing. He does not expect his brother sufferer to pay him, or even to love him. And then he discovers that by the divine paradox of this kind of giving he has found his own reward, whether his brother has yet received anything or not."
The Big Book p. 109
Boy, the Theory of Relativity is easier for me to understand than the idea that if I give I get more than I lose. Really, really weird stuff.
Today I strive for authenticity, for allowing Authentic Seaweed to run amuck. I hope that I don't behave in a fashion that conforms to your idea of how I should behave. Don't get me wrong - sometimes I alter my behavior out of kindness or comity. But if I'm not true to myself, to my own nature and my own beliefs about what is right and what is wrong I'm going to suffer for this self-deception. No one likes a phony or a liar. No one likes a shape-shifter. This isn't a horror movie. I don't think it's hard to get to know me. I think what you perceive in the first few minutes is what you're going to see in the future. I let it rip.
SuperK shared a suggestion about releasing negativity with me a while ago but neither of us can remember the exact expression. The basic idea is that I should just stop being negative. Drop the negativity! It takes more effort to be negative than it does to be positive and it's more exhausting emotionally.
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