Thursday, June 19, 2025

You Could Do Worse Than Mr. Peanut

I'm always trying to balance the tension between striving versus straining and struggling and forcing things.  This is one of the Themes of My Life.  I think about this balancing act when I'm trying to do almost everything.  Am I pushing forward or am I using my big sledgehammer to pound a square peg into a round hole?  I don't want to put out this fire because it's so integral to who I am.  Who would I be without this engine revving high?  I cannot imagine a laid-back Seaweed.  It would be weird.  But, on the other hand, I have so many self-inflicted injuries caused when I've repeatedly try to walk through a cinder block wall, face first.  I'm not great at learning lessons when I think I've got a good idea.  I'm terrible at listening to advice to other people when I've got my mind set on something.  But without this internal fire I'd have trouble getting things done.  

I want to get things done!

I wouldn't call this a mental illness.  Maybe a baked-in character trait?  I'm assuming I'll spend the  rest of my life learning how to deal with it.  I'm no longer trying to get over it.  Maybe I should burrow under it.  Maybe I should dress in a disguise to try to fool it.  Maybe Scrooge McDuck or Mr. Peanut.  Don't laugh - you could do worse than Mr. Peanut.

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