Whaddya Ya Got For Me?

There are traditionally three kinds of giving detailed in Buddhist philosophy: tentative giving, brotherly or sisterly giving, and royal giving.

I use the word transactional to describe how I used to approach giving.  I wanted something back.  I'm not a chump.  If I give you something I better be getting something in return and something of similar worth.  Don't take advantage of me, man.  It was in Alcoholics Anonymous groups that I first learned about giving with no expectation and - most importantly - that this is the source of real contentment: giving is its own reward.

"Because our inner experience is still one of need, giving is usually done with a subtle expectation of getting in return.  Alcoholics Anonymous groups often use the term codependence to describe such misuse of generosity, in which our unskilled assistance helps others avoid facing the true difficulty in their life.  There are also people who have trouble saying no, no matter what is asked of them.  After many years of this they find themselves filled to the brim with resentment without understanding how they got that way."