Where Does It Go?

Impermanence - The fact or quality of being temporary or short-lived; the philosophical problem of change that is addressed by many religions and assumes the belief that all existence is temporary;  in Buddhism: everything that comes also goes.

But where does it go?

The uncertain and temporary nature of much of what we regard as reality is the foundation of impermanence. 

It's all going to go eventually.  Everything.  All of it.  This can be frightening to contemplate but mostly it's a liberating concept.  How can I waste time worrying right now, about something that is probably never going to happen, about something that has already happened, wasting this minute, when I'm going to lose it all anyway?  This is a message I prefer to pass along when someone is doing well, when it is merely irritating, than when things are falling apart, when the message can be frustrating and terrifying.  The powerlessness!  The only thing I can count on in life is change.  I love change.  I want change.  It drives me insane but it fills me up.  

The way I grew after Mom and dad died (Ed. Note: Autocorrect gave Mom a capital but left dad lower case.  Hmmmm.) remains a defining point in my life.  It really drove home the point that we're all destined for the dust bin.  It leveled me for a good three or four months,  in an epic leveling.  I can take a good, robust leveling but this one put me on the ground.  I was panicky.  I was bereft, unmoored, unhinged, for that period of time.  I could not rationalize my way out of the panic.  Knowledge was not helpful.  Trying to intellectualize the finality of death was one of the most fruitless, feckless things I've ever tried to do.  It made me painfully aware of the limits of the mind and the power of the emotions.