Twisted Relationships and Total Inabilities

But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most.  The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.

Twisted: Forced out of its natural or proper shape; crumpled; (Of a personality or way of thinking) unpleasantly or unhealthily abnormal.

Total: Complete or absolute; including everything.

I've always been impressed with the inclusion of the adjective "total" in this passage; as in, we have no ability to form a healthy relationship with another human being. None. Zero. We took hostages or we prostrated ourselves to the will of others. We were never an equal. Never. We wanted to dominate or we allowed ourselves to be dominated. And isn't the word "twisted" a real beauty? Crumpled. I had a crumpled personality.

We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.  Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide beneath it.  This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relationship with any one of those about us.  Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension. 

Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes.

Defective: Not working properly.

Ha ha ha ha . . . . I enjoy the phrase "with other human beings." I like "immediate" and "woes." Woe is me! A defective relationship guy.

We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people . . .

Okay, I'm paying attention here: trouble, misery and depression, uselessness, fear and unhappiness . . . all good stuff, really good stuff. Why would I want to change my behavior and give up this stuff? Why did I ever think it was a good idea to continue my self-destructive behavior so I didn't have to give up this stuff? Good stuff!