The Four Divine States

"The four divine states the Buddha described of loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity."

I don't see "Ferrari" in there.  I can't help but think that's an oversight on the Buddha's part.  He's so busy thinking of other people he forgot to include that divine state.  I've never be in a Ferrari but  I bet it would make me feel divine.

I digress.  

"The near enemy of loving-kindness is attachment."

Alcoholics don't form relationships - they take hostages.  They cling and suffocate.  "But I can't live without you!" is not loving-kindness - it's a demand for submission and attention and acquiescence.

"The near enemy of compassion is pity.  True compassion is the resonance of our hearts with the suffering of another."

I like to keep in mind the difference between sympathy - feeling sorry for the pain and suffering  of another - and empathy - seeking to understand the pain and suffering of another.  "I get it" works better for me than "You poor thing."  Pity doesn't help me much.  I find it condescending and hectoring, especially when it comes from someone who has more than me or isn't currently suffering.  My very first sponsor drove a big white Cadillac and he never felt sorry for me.  He listened and then tossed out some suggestions.  He understood my misery but he didn't buy into it.  My misery was my own fault, by and large, or it was sort of a generic misery that is going to afflict all of us from time to time.

"The near enemy of equanimity is indifference.  True equanimity is balance in the midst of experience, whereas indifference is a withdrawal and not caring, based on fear.  The voice of indifference withdraws, saying, 'Who cares.  I'm not going to let it affect me.' "

Mental calmness, balance, composure and evenness of temper are great things.  I strive for this.  I try not to let other people, places, and things knock me akimbo.  I try to maintain a sense of calm that is not affected by their behavior..  But sometimes I can be of service by listening to someone else describe an upsetting situation without getting dragged down into the pain and suffering they may be going through.  It's not very spiritual to distance myself from anything that might upset me at the expense of the help I might be able to give another. 

"The near enemy of sympathetic joy (the joy in the happiness of others) is jealousy."

OK, I've had about enough here.  I've done my best to pretend to buy into the first three "near" states but this is a step too far.  If you have what I want or if you more than me even if it's not something I want at all I'm coming at you and coming at you hard.  You get nothing from me except envy and resentment.

OK, I'm kidding here.  I think I'm kidding here.  I hope I'm kidding here.  I hope everyone reading blows by me on the freeway in their very own Ferraris.  

"With all of this comes the reminder that we can't use 'spirituality' as a defense."  

I can't state adherence to the four divine states when my behavior leaks in to the near enemy categories.  The words appropriate to this behavior are pious and sanctimonious.