An Allergy and An Obsession

 Absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge.

The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. 

Why don’t you try some more controlled drinking?

The tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us; first we were smitten by an insane urge that condemned us to go on drinking, and then by an allergy of the body that insured we would ultimately destroy ourselves in the process.

. . . their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly hard to solve.

A beloved sponsor once recommended that I ask new people to read The Doctor's Opinion which helps explain what the problem is for alcoholics. We have an "allergy" to alcohol - we react to it in a distorted and exaggerated manner - and we have an "obsession" as well - once we drink our minds are drawn to more alcohol like a moth to a flame. We vaguely understand that we're going to die if we fly into the flame but this fear is overrriden by the desire to drink more. We are not like other people. We are definitely not like other people. We are so not like other people and it's the combination of allergy and obsession that's so confounding. We use the peanut allergy analogy a lot: someone eats some peanuts and has an allergic reaction. Their throat closes, they gasp for air, they almost die. Then . . . they go out to the peanut store and buy several large bags of peanuts in case someone "stops by" and wants to eat peanuts.

. . . so far as alcohol is concerned, self-confidence is no good whatsoever.

He has been convinced that he has more problems than alcohol, and that some of these refuse to be solved by all the sheer personal determination and courage he can muster.

 

The Rooms are full of smart, hard-working men and women who deal with life in perplexing and self-destructive ways.  Most of us find we can't think our way out of this mess.  We can't "buckle down" and solve the condundrum by "working harder" and using our willpower and intellect.  We're smart but we still can't find the inner resources to quit drinking.  It's baffling.  We can't figure it out.  We don't get it.  We're fucking confused as hell.

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.  The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false.

I was anxious, confused child and young adult, drowning in worry and fear, and then I drank some alcohol and the world made sense just like that.  I was relaxed and confident and self-assured.  I was momentarily pissed that the adults had kept this marvelous solution to all of life's problems from me but a little more alcohol solved that resentment right quick.

True:  In accordance with reality.  (How great is THAT definition?)

False:  Incorrect.  (I'm LMAO here.); Not real, but made to look or seem real.