The whole personal inventory process that's so central to our recovery opens up many different avenues of reflection and channels of thought for me. The following passages are taken from passages in our literature guiding us in these efforts.
"We are there to sweep off our side of the street realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. We have made our demonstration, done our part."
Way: A method, style, or manner of doing something.
I have a way of approaching the world, of dealing with life, a way that has been tinkered with and distilled down to a way that makes sense to me at this time of my life. It's not the "right" way for anyone but me and not even that a lot of the time no matter how much I want that proposition to be true. I have to be on high alert that I'm not projecting a template of my way onto someone else, subjecting them to the ins and outs, the minutia and factoids of my way. They're going to have a way and they're going to have to figure that out all on their own. I can let them know my way and then they can take what they want - if they can indeed find out anything they want in my way - and leave the rest. This can be hard because I'm often dazzled and bejeweled with the mechanics of how I approach life. A guy in Chicago may or may not have said something like this to me early in my recovery: "Your life is a mess - maybe you better quit giving people advice on how to live their lives."
Some will object to many of the questions posed because they think their own character defects have not been so glaring. To those it can be suggested that a conscientious examination is likely to reveal the very defects the objectionable questions are concerned with.
We shall claim that our serious character defects, if we think we have any at all, have been caused chiefly by excessive drinking.
. . . . his character defects, representing instincts gone astray , have been the primary cause of his drinking and his failure at life . . .
We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of what or who we thought caused it.
The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive.
. . . we must be sure that we cannot buy our own peace of mind at the expense of others.
These reminders are just so amazing! We deny that we have defects. If we can't get away with this we minimize the damage they have done to our personal relationships and standing in the world. And always . . . always . . . always . . . we point the finger at other people, places, and things. We drink because of You! It's not my fault! I'm not hurting anyone but myself so leave me alone! I was a soldier dug into a trench, keeping my head low, conserving my ammuntion, hanging tough and holding out, vaguely aware I was going to be slaughtered sooner rather than later but refusing to give in.
It reminds me of the time I was standing on the side of the road in a remote Kentucky state park that was located in a dry county when a cop rolled by. I set my beer on the ground, right at my feet, still sweating in the heat and humidity, and told the cop - right to his face - that I didn't know whose beer that was. So you can imagine that my first few swings at the personal inventory were a tad defensive.
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