Seaweed: Visitor

Seems like this is what I was supposed to do this trip.  It hasn't been fancy - sit with dad, mostly in silence when the TV wasn't on, tuned to a sports contest that didn't hold my attention, a few comments passing for conversation; lunch with my sister; meals with The Big Four, the guys that I'm still in regular contact with; walks in my beloved, wooded, childhood park, glorious in autumnal splendor.

I didn't force the meetings.  Didn't force the marginal folks, the ones who are still loved but not active in my life anymore.  Not going back to Vacation City with any simmering resentments or boiling disappointments.  Didn't try to make anyone be someone that they're not and didn't feel bad when I didn't live up to someone else's expectations of who I should be.  Didn't try to make The Old City into something that it mostly definitely is not.

It was a pretty good trip.  I'm glad I finally approached it as a visitor and not as an ex-pat - it kept the frustration level way down, as in: "Why do I care so much about this place anyway?  I don't live here anymore."

I think this low-key approach really helped me with my family interaction.  Dad enjoys it when I'm there although to me our interaction is insipid and shallow.  The helping part is just being there.  He actually concluded our final day by saying: "Well, Seaweed, this was fun." Yowser.  The man is not doing anything to me.  He just doing what he knows how to do.

Love people for who they are and not for who you want them to be.