Guide To The Proper Fertilization of Garden Variety Resentments

Compassion:  Deep awareness of the suffering of another, coupled with the wish to relieve it. 

And then when I think about all of the conversations I've had with people over the years about family difficulties - intense, focused conversations -  the response, usually delivered with a resigned sigh, is along the lines of: "Family can be hard."

That's it?  Those are the great words of wisdom accumulated over years of sobriety and diligent spiritual work?  Family can be hard?

Behavior that I wouldn't tolerate with potential friends and colleagues can be tough to reconcile when it comes to blood relatives.  If I don't like how I'm being treated I can find a new job or hang out with someone different, options not available with family.  You can't pick a new sister or a new father.   There are advantages to these long-term relationships, of course - we're forced to work through things with some diligence and that helps us learn to compromise, effort that can lead to relationships that are incredibly strong and resilient. 
It's pretty hard to jettison family relationships.  That takes some resolve. 

But drunks aren't known for hanging in there and working through things.  Drunks are known for packing up a car and driving off.  Drunks are known for taking a slight - real or imagined - planting it in good soil with plenty of sunlight and excellent drainage, fertilizing it, pruning it when necessary, watering it but not watering it too much, a common problem with most resentments, resulting in a stunted and unattractive resentment which I think we can all agree that nobody wants.  I mean if you're going to have a resentment do it right. Don't half-ass your resentment.

You can pick your nose but you can't pick your parents.