Sunday, August 9, 2015

Termites Ceaselessly Devouring Foundations

Worry:  (transitive) To seize or shake by the throat, especially of a dog or wolf.
               (also transitive, confusingly enough) To disturb the peace of mind of, afflict with mental                agitation or distress.

I can't think of anything that's a bigger waste of time, a more vexing affliction, than worry.  I'm always going back to my Anxiety List so that I can remind myself that the shit I worry about is dust, in the wind, ephemera, moonbeams of dust.  I worried about the ride to the airport, getting there on time, and it was fine.  I worried about the flight, and it was fine, and I slept almost the whole way.  I worried about the taxi driver screwing me over, and he didn't, and if he did, had charged me a $100 more than he should have, it wouldn't have changed my life one iota.

Now I will say this about that: some of the trip anxiety is pretty normal.  The problem with me - one of the seemingly endless problems with me - is that I think that I shouldn't worry about anything and that ain't going to happen ever.  I should be happy that I'm not worrying about everything all the time.  That accomplishment - dubious as it may be - is a great improvement over the life that I used to have.

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