Seinfeld or The Simpson's: Guideposts for my Life

I went to a meeting for many years in The Old City that included among its members a woman that I could not stand (Ed. Note: I considered some kind of euphemism for "could not stand" but could not stand is what I could not do.  Reminds me of an old Seinfeld episode where the loser George character was grilling Jerry about a woman that could not stand George; Jerry told George that she didn't like him.  George: "Really?  She doesn't like me?  What did she say, exactly?"  Jerry: "I DO NOT LIKE HIM.")

Anyway, when this woman shared - an event as certain as the sun rising in the morning irregardless of the size of the meeting - usually about things that had nothing to do with alcoholism or recovery from alcoholism, I would get up, enter the men's bathroom, and stand in there until the muted sound of her voice droning on and on about nothing ceased.  There were some curious moments in this small bathroom when people who actually . . . you know . . . wanted to pee came in and saw me standing there.  "How ya doin,'" I'd say, as they washed up.

Little Westside Jonny called me on it one day.  I was surprised that he had noticed.

"I know what you're doing," he said.  "I think you should stay in your seat and try to listen."

So if he noticed then other people noticed, too.  So there I was - with some decent sobriety - judging the holy shit out of some poor woman who needed my support more than my disapprobation.  I was setting one hell of a bad example.  I justified this, to a certain degree, by invoking the knowledge that this woman annoyed most of the other members - just as some of the folks in my regular morning meeting here in Vacation City annoy the people who left.  

The point is this: if I'm new, clueless about meeting policy and procedure, about how things are "supposed" to go, and I see old-timers grumbling about the behavior of other members I'm going to clam up, probably unsure what the problem is, exactly.  All I would feel would be a sense of disapproval.  People know when judging is going on.  People aren't stupid.

I attended the old morning meeting this morning and I could almost feel a palpable sense of relief that the unhappy members were not present.  A few new meeting secretaries were in place; I heard from people who rarely spoke; the meeting was marginally smaller but at a size that I think encourages more interaction from more people - bigger isn't always better.  And I bet the people who left are happy, too, that the policies and procedures of the new meeting is to their liking.

Again, I say: more meetings, we need more meetings.