Compromise

Compromise:  To find a way between extremes.

I had the opportunity to spend some time with an Earth Person the last few days.  As alcoholics we can be awfully difficult but we sure don't have the market cornered on difficult.  I see people who suffer from some of the same defects that plague me while not having this incredible, unbelievable, powerful support structure that I have access to.  A lot of people aren't very grateful - even those blessed beyond belief; a lot of people have their minds closed to new opportunities or ways of thinking about things - they're unhappy when things don't work out as they would like; a lot of people refuse to compromise or make the best of a situation that they find less than optimal - they tally up an incredibly large list of Must Haves and No Ways and are happy or unhappy accordingly.

I've always like the idea that - if I'm lucky as hell - I'm going to get like 50% of the things that I want.  If I'm lucky as hell.  My life is full of compromise.  My life is full of instances where I've found that every shroud has a silver lining, whatever the hell that means.  I try to be grateful no matter what, to see what I can take out of every situation instead of focusing only on what I can't take out.  Sometimes I even think about what I can put into a situation.

I see people get stuck in a disastrous maze of circular logic and watch as they spin around and around, trying the same solutions over and over, getting the same results again and again.  While I feel sorry for their pain I also tire of their story.  There is a lot of wisdom at being told to make a gratitude list or to empty some ashtrays or to talk to a newcomer, all code for "Quit your bitching and make yourself useful."

One of the greatest riddles of my life is this: Why can't I be happy when I'm thinking about myself?  And why does it make me feel good to think of what I can do for others?

That's two riddles, actually.