I'm the Decider

Decision: The bringing to an end of vacillation, doubt, dispute, etc. by making up one's mind as to an action, course, or judgment.

I don't make very good decisions.

To be sure, my decision making process has gotten much better, but it's still a work in progress. I'm very selfish and I react too quickly, especially when I'm emotionally over-wrought, which is my specialty. You can paint a pretty good picture of me by adding prefixes like "hyper" and "quasi" and "super," as in: "That was a super stupid thing to do."

This is why I'm always communicating with people in recovery. It's like a big braking system, a big panel of highly qualified experts helping me to see the truth and the folly in whatever I'm thinking about. My brain has the ability to take a normal thought and corrupt it. I'm rash and defensive and arrogant.

My buddies don't tell me what to do. They barely know what they need to do. They don't have to tell me what to do. I can see it in their faces, hear it in their voices.

I need a lot of help with all of this stuff.