Hell's Bells

Project; To send forth in one's thoughts and imagination.

I almost feel guilty when good things happen to me. Like I don't deserve it. Like I have to do something to get a good thing. It's all a big game of celestial payback. After all, the rain doesn't fall on the wicked except for the dick that lives next door. The rain seems to be falling on him just fine. Maybe the deer eating my cucumber plants have been sent by the big celestial scorekeeper because I said a swear word in fourth grade. The big celestial scorekeeper is All Knowing and, by extension, All Remembering. Omnipotent, omniscient, and omremeberent.


I think I'm built for pain. I get uncomfortable when I project pleasure out into the future. I'm better at assuming that things are going to blow up in my face. Job interview? Won't get it. Vacation? Gonna rain. Big date with beautiful young chick on Saturday night? SuperK might find out. I have a premonition that I am not going to win the lottery.

Do I ever project Victory on what might happen? Not very often.