Earth People Attack

I got a lot of great feedback on the anonymity question. Spiritual foundation indeed, based on the enthusiasm.

I have a couple of friends who frequently comment on what I say; Spandex is in the Program and Herr Luber is not. I like to hear how people interpret what I write, because it's pretty much what I think. It's a live feed to my brain. I'm a little wary about what I think. It's not always the greatest stuff although I'm impressed with it, as a general rule. Spandex helps keep me honest with my A.A. opinions which are mainstream but can get wacky sometimes. Herr Luber is looking at recovery through a different prism.

The following is an almost verbatim exchange with Herr Luber on my opinions about trusting my instincts. If I was polite, I'd ask him if I could do this which I'm not going to do. I thought it was revealing because the idea that I'm not going to make very good decisions based on my own thinking is bandied about, sometimes tongue in cheek, often quite literally, in meetings. It makes sense to me.

Herr Luber:
"I foresaw exactly squat. I would have made the worst possible decision had I followed my instincts, which are not to be trusted." These two sentences are VERY important. I think the first one stands on its feet, sturdy, unassailable.

The second sentence is the most "problematic" sentence I have run across in the history of your blog. If you are not using your instincts, then what are you using? Me, I gave up on reason a long time ago, and trust instincts (which are informed by experience and analysis and reflection). I think I did this because I was lazy or impatient, but I don't know what else to do. If I cannot count on my instincts getting better and better as I age, then why go on living?"

The B-Man:
"I think this is a case where you, as a non A.A. guy, interpret the words too literally. This is certainly a problem with what I say from time to time as my specialty is hyperbole, exaggeration, lying, creating. I think in the recovery crowd the idea that we can't trust our own instincts is interpreted much more loosely. We cover this ground often: the idea that I'm so consumed with myself and my comfort that I have to be a little suspicious of my motives.

My understanding of instinct at a base animal level is "what's in it for me?" Territory, procreation, food. Humans work on a higher plane, obviously, but some times we can revert to these positions. I certainly trust my instincts a lot more than I used to. I always say if my gut reaction is that something is bad for me, I can go with that absolutely. If I think it's bad, it's bad -- I don't have to check with someone else. On the other hand, if I think something is good for me then I need to review my motives with my friends. I may be reverting back to the more money, more power, more sex sensibility.

Good feedback, and you are right on the button in a literal sense. In a lying sense, slightly off the button."

Herr Luber:
"I like how you put it. Especially interesting is the view of "instinct/gut" as primarily defensive. Protective against danger. Doubtless that is how it came down to us through our long evolutionary descent. Not too many sea anemone or early hominids got nabbed as something else's meal because they had a hunch to go long on oil stocks."

What this exchange did for me was to reveal that what goes on in a meeting can be interpreted differently among the Earth People. I can say something to a buddy that I can't say in church, which is why I never go to church: I like to say what I want. We are, after all, kind of sort of insane. Normal people don't drink themselves right up to the brink of total personal destruction so they don't have to resort to what are sometimes extreme measures to deal with life. Thus, I think, anonymity serves a purpose beyond being the foundation of our spiritual traditions. It keeps our asses out of hot water.


Serenity Stan sent me a note relating an experience of a friend who ran into another member at her work place. After chatting for a minute the guy yelled across the lobby: "Is he one of us?" The receptionist asked Stan's friend what that meant, and she had to break her anonymity. I can only imagine how the receptionist interpreted one of us. Cross dresser? Terrorist? Sexual predator? It was definitely not cool. I always try to catch a friend's eye when I see them talking to someone I don't know. As in: is it cool for me to say hi? Sometimes it isn't.