FutureWorld

Here's how the inventory process works: I write down what's going on and I try to be honest about it. This is not that easy for me considering my love of a Good Lie. I possess the brilliant ability to see the faults and errors in other people, places, and things but am blissfully unaware of my own. Steve Martin used to come out on stage at the start of a comedy set wearing a big plastic vise on his head. He would warn his audience that he wasn't at his best due to an unexplained splitting headache. That's me. I've got the big vise on my head. I know. I put it on each morning and winch it tight.

I like adventure but I like to dictate the terms. Adventure at a time and place of my own choosing. Otherwise it seems more like a Nasty Surprise.

It's a great truth for me that the anticipation of pain is worse than the pain itself. And then the relief at not worrying that the pain that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be is so pleasant that I'm motivated to go out and get in really painful circumstances so that I can work through them and feel better later.

I think I just got carried away.

I rarely do challenging things unless I'm under some duress. It's easier for me to go with the flow, especially when I can take an objective look at where I am and see that it's not that bad. When something ends or I end it, I usually foresee worsening circumstances. I'm afraid of change because I think it will be worse. I don't imagine good.

In the future, I'm never winning the lottery but there is usually an ax murderer there.