Does It Need To Be Said?

This new dude asked me to sponsor him a while back.  I'm not really sure why, to be honest with you.  I do believe that members in the two to ten year sobriety range are better suited to fill this role.  I don't raise my hand in the meeting when the secretary asks for anyone willing to be a sponsor to identify themselves, but that didn't deter this guy from asking anyway.  Alcoholics, you know?  Can't tell 'em anything.  In my experience there are variations of sponsorship that run the style/technique gamut from "This is what you will do as my sponsee" to "This is what I do and you can do whatever the fuck you want."  I'm firmly in the latter camp.  I have zero interest in directing anyone else's life in any shape, manner, or form, nor am I qualified to.

So here's my minor conundrum.  This guy is about to find out the consequences of his second DUI.  He's upset and worried.  This sounds about right as it's an upsetting and worrisome circumstance.  He ranged far and wide and at great length explaining the situation to me.  He clearly was interested in talking and not listening so I dusted the furniture while paing scant attention to his meandering tale of woe.  I'm only kind of kidding here.  New people are the definition of self-absorption.  New people should just wail "Woe is me!  Woe is me!" and then spare their sponsors any more of their self-pity.  Just record their voices woe-ing and play the recording in lieu of a phone call.  Again, only kind of kidding.

"So what do you think the damage is going to be?" I asked.

His response was that he anticipated a thirty day suspension of all driving rights and then three months of restricted driving which will allow him to drive for work related trips and AA meetings.  He made this sound awful.  I wanted to tell him that he should be dancing a jig at receiving such a sentence.  I thought it sounded great and very fair.  I could have pointed out that he was driving a couple of tons of glass and steel at night and he got caught for his second DUI.  I suspect his driving was poor and erratic enough to attract the attention of a state trooper.  I don't care how much above the limit he was - drunk is drunk - and I definitely don't care how close to home he was - drunk driving is drunk driving - although he tried to present these as mitigating circumstances of "I only stole a thousand dollars -  it's not like it was five thousand."  This is how we present ourselves early on - as a fuck-up but not as big of a fuck-up as that guy over there.  This cat could have gotten in front of a judge who was having a bad morning or had just presided over a case where the drunk driver got into an accident where someone was hurt or killed.  I think he should be dancing a jig he got off so easy.

I did not say this on the spot because - frankly - after a half hour his droning voice was becoming an irritant and I wanted to get him off the phone.  For a third time, only kidding, somewhat, mostly.  In any case he was so wrapped up in himself that any advice or perspective I could have provided would have been met with resistance or befuddlement, as if I was speaking Urdu.

I may say some variation of this the next time we meet.  I may not.  I'll see.

Does it need to be said?  Does it need to be said by me?  Does it need to be said by me right now?