Where Is My Attention?

 "Avoid friends and follower who are detrimental to thy peace of mind and spiritual growth."  Tibetan Rosary of Precious Gems

We may look at our friends of the past and recognize now they were not the best influences for us.  Perhaps that's why they were our friends: they were just like us.  The people we choose as our friends validate us and our growth.  If we choose to be around unhealthy people then we, too, are unhealthy.  Yet if we choose to be around people concerned about their growth, who ask for help when necessary, who can receive yet also give, then we are like those people.

SuperK still has trouble with her family.  I still feel some irritation with the apostates who broke away from my morning meeting.  Yet when we take a deeper look at the individuals who are giving us the most trouble we find people who in large measure, we don't respect or like or, at least, hold in some higher regard.  I turn again and again to the wisdom of George Costanza who - responding to Jerry's confusion on why he was so obsessed with a girlfriend of Jerry's that really disliked him - said: "She just hates me so much that I'm finding her irresistible."  Yeah, I get that.  How much of my time I spend contemplating my contempt for people that I don't care for as opposed to thinking about the people that I cherish.

From Bill W who misguidedly tried to "convert" an agnostic friend who turned out to be a great humanitarian: "This was the story of a man of great spiritual worth.  The hallmarks were plain to be seen: humor and patience, gentleness and courage, humility and dedication, unselfishness and love - a demonstration I might never come near to making myself.  This was the man I had chided and patronized.  This was the unbeliever I had presumed to instruct!  It then, for the very first time, it burst in upon me how very dead faith can be - when minus responsibility."

Don't be an asshole today.