Monday, February 27, 2023

Adam & Eve

 Funny how we are about relationships, especially romantic relationships.  It's commonly understood that these attractions are mysterious and defy analysis of any kind.  We just "know" we've found "the one."  I guess we don't know jack-shit based on all of the divorces and bad break-ups out there.  But the funny thing is that when a relationship goes south we want to analyze the shit out of it.  What happened?  Who's at fault?  Why couldn't we work it out?  Maybe if we spent as much time on these issues before we get involved with someone we'd see how painfully obvious the answers are.

I believe aliens have visited the earth.  I believe they've never revealed themselves because they look around for a minute, roll their eyes and say "Oh, brother," and fly right back out of here.  They see people walking behind dogs and picking up their feces.  They assume the dogs are running things.  Imagine how disappointed they are when they find out the feces-gatherers are the ones in charge.

I've come to believe that one of the keys to a successful relationship is a high tolerance for boredom.  We're all in when everything is exciting and new and challenging but eventually all that stuff that we overlooked or thought was cute early on starts to irritate.  I'll tell you - when I'm describing a crucial fourth down blitz to SuperK I can see her eyes glaze over immediately but she hangs in there.  I'm probably as transparent when she's giving me a blow by blow of her approach shot on the fifth hole.  Both of us think: "This is important to him/her so I'm going to listen."  I'll tell you it can be harder than it sounds.

This is the real story behind Adam and Eve.  They weren't lacking in faith.  They were bored.  I'm sure Eve woke up one day and saw the lumpy, farting, hairy naked body of Adam and thought: "You again?  How 'bout some of that apple?"


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