Change: To make something into something else. (Ed. Note: it seems to me that the definition makers really threw in the towel here. I think it's against some rule to use the same word twice in a definition, especially when it's a vague word to begin with.)
An alcoholic doesn't just get into a rut. An alcoholic decorates the hut, buys furniture, and signs a long-term lease promising to live in the rut in perpetuity.
An alcoholic is a battleship, full-steam ahead. An alcoholic is a brakeless freight train with 200 cars loaded with coal, moving downhill, and never mind why someone would design a freight train without brakes. Probably an alcoholic.
These are things that have a lot of momentum. You don't tap the brakes and come to a complete stop.
Breaking a habit is like trying to tip over a Coke machine. You don't walk up to it and just tip it over on the first try. You have to rock it back and forth a few times - THEN it goes over.
I continue to feel stuck in my behaviors. I'm doing a few things that aren't great for me at the level I'm doing them - coffee, exercise, sugar - and I'm not doing a few things that I should be doing. I've fallen into the trap of relying on The Fellowship for most of my socializing and this is not a good thing - it's not a social club, it's a 12 Step recovery program. And my regular meetings have shifted a little bit so I feel like too much of an outlier. I don't want to only go to meetings that are stuffed with newcomers and I don't want to go to ones that are dominated by long-timers - I need a mix, and I'm not getting that right now. I'm not connecting with people on a deeper level intellectually or socially right now. I don't mean for this to sound arrogant or dismissive - I don't think I'm better or worse than anyone but it's a fact that sometimes we need to swim with the same kind of fish.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment