Perforation

Compulsion:  An irrational need to perform some action, often despite negative consequences.

Long ago Spandex told me a story of a visit he made to a mental health professional because he was worried about his tendency to what he imagined were unhealthy obsessive-compulsive thinking patterns.  Spandex is no more and no less OC than I am - sort of a normal worry-wart in my opinion.  My recollection is that the MHP told him pretty quickly that he wasn't obsessive compulsive.  My recollections are frequently wrong but I like this story so I'm going to present it as fact.

When I was talking with my dentist about a plan of action for my troublesome teeth I urged him to try to double up on the work.  If he was going to numb one side of my face I figured drill, baby, drill - get as much done in that general vicinity as possible.  In fact, I'm not adverse to a threesome which, in my experience, has never come to pass.  A twosome is hard enough to accomplish.

The dentist said that he had plenty of patients who were so consumed by anxiety at the prospect of a high speed drill burrowing dangerously close to highly sensitive nerve endings that he would never suggest more than one tooth at a time.  For me the real battle is worrying about what may happen, something that is almost always not as bad as what actually happens.  I'd rather think about two teeth being fixed once than one tooth at a time being fixed twice.  It's the anticipation, baby

My dentist calls on his drive home after an invasive procedure.  It's really cool.  I like the guy anyhow but knowing that I'm going to get that call is calming.  After one particularly invasive procedure I told him that my mouth hurt - I was mildly worried that this was a sign of mouth cancer!! or something worse!!! 

"Based on what we did today I'd expect that," he said.  "The important thing is that we see some steady improvement over the next few days.  You let me know if that doesn't happen."  KK always says it hurts because you're healing.  I figure: fuck that, it's some kind of invasive cancer.

I have been reflecting on the aftermath of the oral surgeon affair.  Don't get me wrong - this guy was great, he got me in to deal with my aching tooth on an hour's notice, and I'd recommend him to anyone unequivocally.  And after the procedure he mentioned something about the oral cavity to sinus perforation, that it was a possibility and that if something happened we'd have to do something about it.  It was a pretty brutal procedure and I was a little . . . not traumatized . . . more stunned is the word so I didn't ask any follow up questions and I was probably a little lacking in my post-op fact retention.

Now if this guy had taken two minutes to go over the symptoms and the solutions and the possibilities of a perforation he would have saved me a whole hell of a lot of mental anguish.  I knew the perf might happen and that it could be addressed but I didn't know how I would know  there was a puncture and how quickly it needed to be addressed and if I could fly on a plane, stuff like that.  Frankly, I would have gone through the procedure again rather than endure the anxiety of imagining something was horribly, horribly wrong.

Perforation would be an excellent name for a rock band.