Har Har de Har

I went to a Men's Retreat this weekend.  I attended a couple of retreats a year in The Old City and found them to be surprisingly helpful.  I'm not too good at joining in or joining groups, preferring to stalk the darkness at the periphery of the campfire to singing round-robin campfire songs.  I went to this retreat a couple of years ago and didn't really care for the dynamic but decided to give it another try as I'm pulling every lever and pushing every button in an attempt to process The Lost Year.

Alas, my instincts were correct and I didn't really care for the dynamic again.  It seemed to be more like a Fellowship camping trip than a spiritual retreat.  There were lots of meetings and lots of bullshit sessions but not much else.  I'd say that fellowship was the theme, not spiritual growth. Despite a ridiculously beautiful setting on a bluff overlooking the ocean I didn't see a single person taking advantage of the solitude to write or meditate or quietly stroll the grounds.  There was often the sound of loud talking and laughter, people bellowing into cell phones, that kind of stuff.  It wasn't unusual for me to have to be chased out to one the more remote benches if I wanted a little peace and quiet.  The guys sharing the room next to mine would come in after the evening session and play videos on their computer - action videos at a high volume.  I actually had to put in foam earplugs to read at the end of the day although, in their defense, they didn't go too late with the movies.  I know I could have gone over and said something and that they would undoubtedly have taken it well but I felt like the outlier and not in the mainstream of the retreat intent.  It would have felt like going over to someone's house for a Super Bowl party and asking them to put on the basketball game.

My original retreats were in a town with a heavy religious influence, something that often annoyed me and served as a target for my snarky observations.  I'll say this - religious people often have a history of quiet reflection and some sense of deep-seated faith.  I ran into people by themselves all the time at the Old City retreats - when there were small groups of people the conversations were quiet, reserved. 

There were a lot of guys at this retreat and most of them seemed to be enjoying themselves - it wasn't a bad retreat, just one that doesn't really interest me.  Which begs the question as to why I went again.  Perhaps I'm not as smart as I think that I am.