Ghost in the Machine

Here's the update on the people who wouldn't remove a 100% surcharge penalty thing on a bill that my father owed . . . 

The facts:
The bill is legitimate.
I stupidly bounced a check in an honest attempt to discharge this debt.
There is probably something in the 47 page standard legal boilerplate that my father agreed to when he arrived at the emergency room unconscious that permits the pricks administering the bill to tack on 100% surcharges.
I called the pricks administering the bill - explained that my father had died, I was sorry about the bounced check but that things were a little unsettled, I'd be happy to pay the bill, would you remove the 100% surcharge.
The pricks declined to remove the surcharge which is their right.

As you can see the facts are lined up against me.  Is it fair?  Is it kind?  Or understanding?  

No, no, and no.

Here is my game plan.  I will pay the surcharge . . . probably.  I will send in small, odd, random amounts each month by check.  I think I'll start with $2.09.  I may go as high as $4.17 but probably not.  I'll choose the amount to send in each month at a time of my choosing.  I like a dollar amount and then a zero and then another number.  Like: $3.01 or $1.01.

I realize that this will cost me far more in postage and envelope cost than if I just paid the amount but I want to make it absolutely as painful for these pricks as possible.  I want to fuck with their system.  I want someone to have to open the envelope and process the check.  I can't imagine that they are able to process a check for less than $2.09.  I want it to cost them like $100 to collect this debt.

As you can see I have a ways to go.