That Jeebus Was A Doodle

Parable:  A short narrative illustrating a lesson (usually religious/moral) by comparison or analogy.

I picked up the Bible again and started re-reading the New Testament.  I was a religious kid who grew up in a religious family so the Bible was a big deal and a constant presence, especially on Sundays.  I read the New Testament a bunch of times and I read it all lit up on many a night, post-carouse.  I was also a compulsive kid so if something was on my list to do I usually did it.  It apparently never occurred to me that Jeebus himself might have suggested that it would be more salutary (see? that's a religious word - I'm into old habits already) to lay off the Colt 45 and meth and maybe miss a couple of nights of Bible reading.  He might have pointed out that the Bible and its parables would make more sense.

I like parables.  I like that they're short.  Jeebus was pretty crafty with the parables.  He laid the heavy wood onto some powerful people by wrapping up snark in a parable.  You know the kind of comment where you realize: "Hey.  I think I just got slammed."  He was good at those.

Some of my impulse has been to see what's in there after a 30 year absence.  Man, I'll tell you -those stories come back like it was yesterday.  It's a pretty good book, objectively speaking - well-written, moral, amusing.  Lot of history in there and lots of parables and good lessons and common sense shit.  I think Jeebus was a curser, to be honest with you - I just don't think that stuff cleared the censors.  I don't know how half the stuff he did got by the censors - he was one liberal, radical dude.  I don't know why the conservatives like him so much.  I can't see how they're reading the same Bible as I am.  

Being an irreverent guy I find that my hackles are forced into the standing position when I hear some of our more loud-mouthed religious experts provide back-up for the crap they're spewing with verses and examples out of the Bible.  I'm not saying they're wrong - I'm wondering if maybe they're cherry-picking a little bit.  I come across verses that seem to directly contradict what they're saying almost every day.  I'd like to hear them toss some analysis of those verses into the mix - the phrase "fumbling for the right words" comes to mind.

I feel the same way about our main text in The Fellowship, too.  I think we've oversimplified some really good concepts, to our detriment.  I mean "If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.  The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us?"  That's ridiculous if it's taken out of context.  I'd like to see someone make it through without ending up in the loony bin by always suppressing their anger.  Or "Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today." If you fall down the steps and crack your skull be my guest and go right ahead and work on your acceptance - I'm heading to the ER.