Par-Tay

Party: To celebrate at a party; to have fun; to enjoy oneself.

            (slang):  To use recreational drugs.

One of the biggest fears for most of us when we contemplate an alcohol-free existence revolves around the concept of fun.

"What am I going to do for fun?" I asked, over and over, even though everything pleasurable had been sucked out of what I was doing long ago.  My drinking was a grim, purposeful death march.  It was marked by an escape from pain and loneliness and not by some sense of joy.

I told people that I was a natural partier.

"I like to party," I'd crow.  "I am a walking, talking party."  I would point out my long, black trench coat in which I could hide drugs, the gear to use drugs - including a 3 foot high purple bong - and several quart bottles of alcohol without anyone being the wiser.  I loved that coat more than I loved my family.

Eventually, someone tired of my references to partying.  This was not uncommon - people tired of most of the things said.  I was, after all, a tiresome individual.

"Seaweed," he said.  "You weren't partying - you were drinking."

He was pointing out the obvious.