Judge Not

Compliment:  An expression of praise, congratulation, encouragement, or respect. 

I was having coffee with my sponsor this morning when a guy that we both know from The Rooms stopped by our table to say hello.  First of all, I would like to point out the factual phrase "having coffee with my sponsor" which I was actually doing instead of just lying about it instead.  I give people so much shit about the state and quality of their Programs that it's nice to be able to report when I do the thing that I don't do all that often while still managing to berate others when they come up lacking.  

Judge not lest ye be judged.  Well, fuck that - I'm a judging machine.

This guy had a friend with him and at some point in the proceedings he characterized Tom and I as two of the most intelligent men he knows in The Program.

"Yeah, just ask us," I quipped.  "We'll tell you about it."

Everyone kind of laughed or at least pretended to.  I know the guy well enough that I felt comfortable brushing off the compliment.  The way I mouth off is not going to surprise him.  We chatted for a bit longer, shook hands, and parted with hearty good cheer.

Still, I need to keep an eye out for this guy and thank him for what he said.  Men, as a general rule, don't give out compliments lightly; what's even more true is that we don't receive them well at all.  It was pointed out to me long ago that the proper response to a sincere compliment is: "Thank you.  That was nice of you to say, you're very kind, I appreciate that, etc., etc."  It devalues the compliment otherwise and the world can use all the compliments it can get.  I still have trouble grasping the concept that it feels good to be nice to someone else.  Never receive a gift freely given by saying "Oh, you shouldn't have."  That's a crappy way of telling the gift-giver that what he has done isn't important.