Saturday, November 24, 2012

Anxiety:  A state of being uneasy, apprehensive, or worried about what may happen; misgiving.

I don't think there is a concept more fascinating to me than anxiety.  I've looked up the definition of anxiety more than any other word in the last several years, and I've looked up a LOT of words.  The big qualifier in that definition is may.  May implies a possibility of indeterminate likelihood.  There is not the slightest assurance that a thing is going to come about, making the worry a big #$!! waste of time.

Fear I get.  Fear is primal and it is helpful.  Fear is looking in a dark cave and hearing an angry growling sound, and not going in.  Fear is seeing my fellow caveman assure me he can fly and ending up smashed up on the rocks below, deader than a doorknob.   Fear keeps me alive - anxiety makes me miserable.

I've been enjoying my Crisis List.  Nothing has come of anything on that list and some of the stuff is ridiculous in retrospect.  Some of it is patently ridiculous when I write it down.

"Really?" I say to myself as I project some ridiculous, implausible outcome.  "This is how you're going to spend your time this morning?  Worrying about this?"

Alcoholics.  There isn't a bright, sunny day that I can't ruin with my anxiety.  I can worry about anything.

Go ahead.  Give me a try.

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