The Lead

I got a phone call a few days ago from someone I did not know.
"I got your name from Ubiquitous John and wondered if you would give a talk for me next Monday at our local clubhouse?" the guy asked.
"How many people are going to be there?" I asked.

He paused for a minute, confused, and I jumped right in, hoping to finish his sentence for him. I knew better than he did what he wanted to say.


"Normally, I try to limit my talks to very large groups. State conventions, keynote addresses, stuff like that. MY message is quite good and I don't want to dilute it by talking in front of insignificant crowds. This is Marketing 101," I replied. "Are there going to b e any important people there?"
"I don't know," he stammered.
"OK, no problem," I mused. "You have a few days still to drum up attendance. Who is going to be handling the taping? Do you have all of the equipment and technical support that you need to make a quality recording?"

"Well, I don't know about . . . "

"How about a sergeant at arms?" I mused, thinking out loud. I had already forgotten who I was talking to . "Someone to make sure that no stragglers try to leave when I'm talking. What are we thinking: 3 or 4 hours? I can probably shorten things up a bit if there's a time limit I need to respect."
He started making static noises. "Horseface, the connection . . ssshhsshhh . . . line breaking up sshsshhshhh. . . "

The connection went dead.