Fear

Fear: A feeling of anxiety and agitation caused by the presence or nearness of danger, evil, pain, etc.



I have a lot of complicated problems. These have been exacerbated by the all of the difficult and annoying people that populate my crazy little world. I can't figure out why it is that I attract so many nut-jobs; it can't have anything to do with my personality or how I interact with the general population in my daily life.



I like to put fancy labels on everything. Jealousy, resentments, anger, depression. The fact of the matter is that my difficulties can almost always be boiled down to fear. Pure, undistilled, naked fear. I would much rather say that I'm pissed at my boss or I'm envious that my neighbor has a faster car than I do. It sounds better than saying: " I'm afraid." Most alcoholics and drug addicts have trouble admitting to fear, but we men have elevated it to an art form. We would rather take a swing at someone with a pool cue that admit that we were afraid that we looked bad in front of the woman we are trying to impress.



That wacky Fourth Step inventory list in the Big Book helps shed some illumination on the process. The fourth column -- the "affects my" column -- always seems to end up with FEAR. I'm afraid that my cash, my personal prestige, or my sex life is going to be affected. I'm afraid that my I'm not going to get something that I want or lose something that I already have.

Do that inventory.