Not that important

Hard: causing pain or discomfort; specifically, a) difficult to endure; trying; exhausting. b) harsh; severe; stern.

I'm hard on myself. Whatever it is, it's not good enough. I could have done it better. If I get all of the questions right, I'm upset at my penmanship. If I sell a widget, I'm upset that I didn't sell two. I could solve world hunger and be depressed that I didn't provide any locally grown, organic fresh designer fruit in my twelve dessert selections. Everyone else is thrilled that I brought enough rice.

This self-flagellation can be relentless. If I met someone who treated me the way I treat myself, I would be tempted to smack his forehead, or glare at him in a nasty and intimidating manner. Probably the latter. I've been beat up enough times when I was drinking -- I see no need to continue this practice in sobriety. I only thought the alcohol made me stronger. The fact that women didn't find my extreme drunkenness alluring and sexually irresistible should have been the first clue.

I call this tendency "Setting the bar higher." If I run a mile, tomorrow I'll run two. After I run two, I might as well run five. We'll dispense with the more reasonable three mile run. I will take no satisfaction that I'm running at all. I'm not running enough; I should be running faster and there should be a lot of hills in my runs, all of them tilting upward at a sharp angle. The inevitable frustration I feel at my failed efforts make for a great reason to drink.

How about taking it easy on yourself today?