Happy BD, Willie!

My dear friend Willie has been sober for 32 years today.  That's a long time although I have a sneaking suspicion he still thinks it's okay to drink on weekends and holidays.  We call that California Sober.  My stance on anniversaries (in most of the country) or birthdays (here on the Left Coast) is to balance gratitude - I do not stay sober on my own, without a Higher Power and the support of The Fellowship - but I do not stay sober without personally doing a lot of work.  So I share the date with my friends.  I hope it lets new people see that it can actually be done - because I was not a high bottom drunk - and because it's a gift I can give to the people who have been with me every step of the way.  With some spiritual growth comes the ability to actually be happy for the successes and achievements of others instead of stewing in a pot of envy and jealousy.

Here's the SoCal way:

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Biiiiiiirrrrrthday, dear Willie.

Happy Birthday to you.

Keep coming back . . . . . Sober!

One of my little fantasies is to return to the open Saturday night speaker meeting in North Indianapolis, the site of my first halting foray into the world of Alcoholics Anonymous.  I clearly remember the buzz of good energy in the room - the loudness and laughter and vibrancy surprised the hell out of me - and the fact that I was very, very suspicious of the motives of the guys suggesting I buy something called The Big Book.  I assumed that was the grift - sell merchandise and make money - so I lied and said I didn't have the money, but the guys got around that crap by telling me to just take the Book then and pay them back whenever I came up with the cash (I still have that Book, well used and in deplorable shape but full of notes and underlinings that mean a lot to me today).  I was also flummoxed at the lead that night - a guy who ran moonshine somewhere in the Deep South, spent a lot of time in jail, differences that I used for a while to keep a distance between me and recovery.  I was definitely NOT looking for the similarities.

I talk to anyone new who comes to the Keep It Complicated meeting that has anchored my California sobriety.  I do this with a spirit of service and love while fully aware that most of these people are not going to stay sober - at least not now - and that they're going to come and go no matter what I do.  I'm not cynical at all because I know that It Takes What It Takes.  Maybe I'm the flimsy reed they grab onto?  I remember the moonshine-running hillbilly from West Virginia who told his story to a roomful of laughing drunks almost 40 years ago.  He helped to hook me.  I like the imagery of all the regular members of a group holding onto fishing lines with hooks on the end so that if you're new, walking through our midst, maybe one of the hooks will grab you.