When we're in public, to fit in and be accepted, we often present an image of ourselves that we think others wish to see. This image reflects who we think we're supposed to be and how we think we're supposed to act, In reality, this image exists only in your mind. Trying to live up to that image only leads to suffering. When it's not benefiting you or the other person, drop your image and be who you are.
I normally sleep like a dead man. Last night I slept like a dead man being tormented by a ghost and not a good ghost. A bad ghost. I normally can't remember my dreams, either. I suggest that this is either because I have a clean conscience, devoid of any tormenting ghosts, or I'm a sociopath, devoid of any sense of right and wrong with consequently no guilt or remorse about past bad behavior. My final bout of fitful sleep concluded with a weird scenario where I was trying to sleep on a picnic table close to the ocean but a large bird of some type kept sitting on my head area. I remember, vaguely, a duck or water fowl. I kept squirming around and shoving at the duck but it would not be dislodged. Finally, I woke up with a shout. A shout! I yelled out loud! THAT snapped me wide-awake. I wonder if I thought I was being smothered? A duck! Why didn't I just grab the duck's neck and strangle the shit out of it? What does a duck weigh? Like ten pounds? I weigh 185! And I have teeth which the duck does not have!
Clearly the message that was being sent by my subconscious is "You do not have anything to write about today so you're just wasting everyone's time."
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