No One Here Gets Out Alive

"While there's nothing wrong with striving to do better, as soon as our happiness and self-approval are hinged on achieving this perfection, we are endangering our own well-being."                               The Toltecs

I have a young friend in The Fellowship who's smart, energetic, not a person who needs help doing things, preferring to make her own decisions which are often successful - until a series of circumstances happened all at once and overwhelmed her (pressure at school, her husband drinking a bit too much, an approaching AA anniversary which for some reason seems to eat at a lot or our minds, a dog sitting kerfuffle) and you lose it.  For me it was Sponsor Ken, mom, and my Dad dying in short order, finally admitting that I should undergo a lengthy, painful, and expensive process to get my neglected teeth brought into fit order, and an awareness of the aging process as I hit the age milestones of sixty, sixty-two (social security benefits begin), and sixty-five (Medicare! - health insurance for old people!).

As Jim Morrison famously said: "No one here gets out alive," a line that has become a cultural expression reminding us that mortality is universal. Depending on the context, it can be interpreted as:

• A stark statement that everyone eventually dies.
• A call to live authentically because life is finite.
• An expression of existential or philosophical reflection

I repeat that I have a tendency to call on other people when I lead a meeting.  I love the terror I see in their eyes.  I love the control!  I love seeing the minds working away: "What am I going to say if he calls on me?"  In Portland the meeting leader called on folks before opening up the meeting for anyone who wanted/needed to share in the last ten minutes.  The explanation given was that this was an attempt to keep everyone "engaged."  You want to be uncomfortable?  Try sharing when you haven't been paying attention to the topic because you're thinking about yourself.  Shit gets uncomfortable fast.

"While I love spending time with others, I also love being alone and enjoying my own company.  That's good news! Because if I didn't enjoy being with myself, that would make for a difficult life, as I am the only person who is with me all the time.  Remember, the point of all this work is to enjoy life.  It starts with the relationship you have with yourself."                                                                      The Toltecs