Surrender

A guy with about a year of sobriety led the meeting this morning.  I thought he did a good job although I wasn't able to discern a specific topic.  When other members started to share they talked about the amends process.  I have no idea why.  I heard absolutely nothing about making amends during the leader's share.  Probably, I wasn't listening closely, but I will say that one of the things that happens to me when I lead a meeting is that people pick up on some obscure point that pales in comparison to what I intended to be the main thrust of my talk and off they go, sharing about whatever they want to share about.

I'm going to be traveling in a foreign country and won't have access to live meetings.  I'll be okay.  I'll miss these idiots and knuckleheads, I'll tell you that.

Since I should be prohibited by law from drinking anything that contains caffeine I usually have a cup of herbal tea at the meeting.  I picked Ginger Infusion or Peach Surprise or some such shit for my selection today.  I ripped off the top of the packet which didn't quite expose the tea bag.  The packet was made of some kind of plastic-ey material so I couldn't get down far enough to grab the tea bag and my efforts to tear it along one of the side edges failed, too.  I handed the packet to a woman I know.  She was useless.  I handed it to a guy I know - a retired engineer - and he was as feckless as the woman.  I started to look for something sharp - like a knife or screwdriver to puncture the bag, aware that I was getting close to an outcome that would lead to spilling of blood, but don't tell me I can't do something because then I have to fucking do it.  Mind you, I wasn't upset or in a bad mood I just couldn't believe I couldn't open a tea bag.  So there I am in the kitchen, jabbing ferociously at the still sealed packed with a ballpoint pen - it wouldn't have been out of place if I had been shrieking "Banzai!  Banzai!" as I was doing this.  The two people I had asked for help were definitely edging away at this point.

Luckily, my diligence paid off.  I plopped the bag into my cup, poured in some hot water, and started chatting with a friend.  I did notice after the tea had steeped for five minutes that my efforts to free the imprisoned had obviously punctured the tea bag so that I had a cup of hot water full of floating bits of tea leaves.  In my defense I took the cup out to  my engineer friend and showed him the result of my efforts so he could have a nice laugh at my expense.  God knows I laugh at him all the time.

I poured out the tea and had a cup of coffee.  I have learned the meaning of the word "surrender."