Tuesday, October 14, 2025

Liar!

One of the meeting riffs yesterday was about lying.  There are so many great quotes and quips about lying.  One of my favorites, oft-repeated, is from my hero Homer Simpson: "I HATE being called a liar unless I've just told a lie or I'm about to tell a lie or I'm currently lying."

A new one that came up was "If you tell the truth then you never have to remember what you've said."  Brilliant!  One of my favorite schticks, oft-repeated, is that I have no real moral objection to lying: I'm a naturally good liar, I have many years of practice in the art of lying, and it can get me out of and through a lot of sticky situations.  The reason I no longer lie . . . or try not to lie so much . . . is that I hate getting caught in a lie.  Very embarrassing!  Plus, lying is truly exhausting.  When I was drinking I had the Main Lie and then I had to construct this elaborate structure of supporting, side lies to bolster the effectiveness of the Main Lie.  I told so many lies for so long that I became confused as to what was true and what was illusion.  It was exhausting!  And one of my favorite and most insidious traps is to remember that I'm not telling the truth just because I choose my words carefully so that - while I technically don't say any lying words - the person to whom I'm lying believes something that isn't true.  Liar!

In the funny way that meetings work the nice woman who lead the meeting and brought up the topic did not, I believe, mean for this to be what the members were going to focus on.  It was probably something she needed to hear.

Let me conclude with a perspicacious quote from another one of my heroes, the Master Liar George Costanza:  "Remember.  It's not a lie if you believe it."

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