40,000,000,000

For some unexplained reason this knowledge that it's all going to go - all of it, including me, especially me - has been richocheting around the inside of my head like a deranged marble.  Maybe it's because that everything I read in the spiritual realm reminds me that there is no time like the present.  If I'm not in the present I got nuthin'.  The past is gone, the future is uncertain and may not ever come, so I better squat right where I am.  Again, I stress that I find this funny and not at all depressing.  It's sure helping me keep some balance as I maneuver my way through the vagaries of life.  What am I getting upset about?  What am I not doing that I think I should be doing and why do I give a shit?  As a childless human my legacy on this earth will be astonishingly short.  Do I think my name and reputation is going to be bandied about a year after I'm gone?  Five years?  Twenty years?  Do I think someone is going to bring up my name twenty years after I graduate to the Big Meeting in the Sky?  Ridiculous.  Preposterous.  Outrageous.

I asked ChatGPT how many people have lived since the year 1 A.D.  I was amused to see that I really taxed its abilities.  It did, however, come up with a guess-timate of 40 billion people.  That's 40,000,000,000 people.  I am a grain a sand on the beach.  I am a fragment of a grain a sand on the beach.  The fact that I'm consumed with my circumstances is hilarous.  It is hysterical, uproarious, ludicrous.  

Right here.

Right now.