Here and There

I was nervous about my Acadamy Awards acceptance speech yesterday at the larger Saturday KIS meeting.  This is unusual for me - I have no trouble dithering on about myself in front of a group of people as a general rule.  Moreover, I found that I was unusually emotional the whole day; so much so that I was wrung out as the afternoon progressed.  It was very surprising.  I was not expecting this and I don't know exactly why this particular sobriety anniversary/birthday felt so much bigger than normal.  Sometimes I get a real sense of the depth and strength of the human connections we make in our recovery community.  Good bullshit detector specialists like me can quickly spot the difference between bluster and platitudes and the relationships I have with real friends. 

"As one matures in spiritual life, one becomes more comfortable with paradox, more appreciative of life's ambiguities, its many levels and inherent conflicts.  One develops a sense of life's irony, metaphor, and humor and a capacity to embrace the whole, with its beauty and outrageousness, in the graciousness of the heart."

Jack Kornfield.

We're not always going to be on Easy Street.  The more deeply I can accept that the more contented I'm going to become.

Spirituality is not about leaving my life to find existence on some exalted, light-filled plain.  It's all too easy to turn spirituality into a grim duty.

As I was going up the stair,

I met a man who wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today,

I wish, I wish, he'd go away.

A Zen master was once asked if he ever got angry.  "Of COURSE, I get angry," he replied.  "But a few minutes later I say 'What's the use of this?' and I let it go."