Fear of Fear

"If we were invited to a formal party and I knew they were only going to have one or two drinks, I wouldn't have any."  

Big Book, "Fear of Fear"

Boy, does that statement ring true for me.  I wasn't drinking to relax a little or be social - I was drinking to get fucked up so if I couldn't accomplish that I was not going to drink.  And, by the way, I was going to make sure that everyone knew I was pissed that I wasn't going to be able to drink as much as I wanted to.  My capacity for passive aggressive irritation is boundless.

"It's surprising, how we think we fool everybody in our drinking."

Big Book, "Fear of Fear"

When I was making my formal amends or even just letting people know I was no longer drinking, that I had a problem with alcohol, nobody - not one person - argued the point with me.  Many people expressed relief that I was finally doing something about my drinking.  Not only was I not fooling most people I was not fooling anybody.  Nobody said: "What!?  You think you have a drinking problem?  No way, man."

"Beware any activity that requires the purchase of new clothes."

Henry David Thoreau