Generalized Anxiety Disorder

 "One consolation of age is desensitization. You worry less about saying the wrong thing. When you are young, you think you will die from shame, but with time you learn that embarrassment won’t kill you. That is another reason why the young despise and fear the elderly. They have no manners, no social sense. They will say anything!" Francine Prose

When I was losing my mind in my early 20s I briefly saw a therapist.  It wasn't too helpful because I was stoned during all of my sessions and I spent most of the time trying to figure out what the guy wanted to hear and then saying that.  Regardless, he prescribed medication that is normally given to people who are depressed and plagued by obsessive/compulsive behaviors, both of which were indeed plaguing me at the time.  But on the Rx he had written "Generalized Anxiety Disorder."  To my query he replied: "You're afraid of everything.  Everything makes you anxious," an explanation that really increased the vague, free-floating anxiety that was currently plaguing me.  "Wait," he added.  "There's more and it's worse.  You're also afraid of shit that isn't real.  What I mean to say is that when nothing real is going on that makes you anxious then you start to imagine things that might go wrong in the future.  In short - you're fucked.  You're always going to be anxious.  It isn't necessary for anything anxiety-producing to be actually happening because if it isn't then you're sure to feel certain that it's going to happen soon.  It doesn't even have to bea  reasonable fear.  It's not necessary for there to be even the slightest, most miniscule chance of whatever weird, implausible things you're currently fixated on to occur because you're going to convince themselves that they might occur anyway."

Well, I'm not sure this is exactly how the conversation went.  Do you think my therapist said to me:"You're fucked?"  Probably not.  But he did diagnose me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  That's a real thing that is.

From the Mayo Clinic website: "Persistent worrying or anxiety about a number of areas that are out of proportion to the impact of the events.  Overthinking plans and solutions to all possible worst case outcomes.  Perceiving situations and events as threatening, even when they aren't.  Inability to set aside or let go of worry."

Yep, that sounds about right.