Shape-Shifting Seaweed

"More than most people the alcoholic leads a double life.  To the outer world he presents his stage character.  This is the one he likes his fellows to see.  He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it."

Bill W must have been a theater buff because he uses the analogy of an actor or a director in a few different spots.  It's a good image.  We're great at trying to run the world and we're masters of presenting an image to the outside world - a false image more often than not.  I know I was a mystery to most people when I was drinking because I was a mystery to myself.  I didn't know what I liked and what I didn't like so I shape-shifted into whatever I thought you liked or didn't like.  I spent so much time doing shit I didn't enjoy because it seemed to be what other people were doing, and vice versa.  It took me a long time to figure out who I was and that's an amazing fact to ponder in a thirty year old man-child.