The Man For The Job

Balance:  A state in which opposing forces harmonize.

I caught up with my buddy Spandex a few weeks ago.  He's a good friend and a good alcoholic - he rarely has anything going on that he needs to talk about until you ask him if he has anything going on that he needs to talk about and THEN he's got something to talk about.  I'm familiar with this mind-warp - people have to pry my shit out of me.  A lot of the time I don't realize that I need to talk until I start talking.  10 minutes later I think: "Whew."  

It's pretty common for the talker to say something along the lines of: "Aren't you sorry you asked?"

Never.  I'm never sorry.  I wallow in any opportunity to get my focus off of me, an odious topic and far overdone.

Spandex had a work thing going on.  Not a particularly bad one but it was a situation requiring him to promote himself with his supervisor in a matter affecting both him and his colleagues, people who he has to work closely with and who he likes, for the most part.  We're good people when we're working The Steps, we drunks - we try to be congenial, to do the right thing, to balance what we want with our fellows may want.  We try to balance our wishes and desires with the wishes and desires of others.  We want to sleep well at night and we want to get our way, at least some of the time, two outcomes that are often in conflict with each other.  In the world - especially the world of business and money and power - it's very possible to get one's ass steamrolled if one exhibits an overabundance of deference.

My friend is afflicted with a great deal of conscience.  Most of my good friends are.  I like to think that I am as well, from time to time.  And most of my good friends are very, very hard on themselves while being simultaneously poor at self-promotion.  I think sometimes we have to say: "This is what I want - I think I'M the best person for this."  It's surprisingly difficult, especially since we know how painful it can be getting in bed at the end of the day after acting like a shrill harpy.  There's that goddam balance thing again.

An unfortunate fact of the world is that many people will take the path of least resistance if it helps them avoid unpleasant conflict - a manager may very well slight the humble employee trying to be a good team player so that he doesn't have to deal with the bitching employee trying to get his or her own way. 

Go, Spandex Go!