S.O.B.E.R.

SOBER - Son of a Bitch, Everything's Real

The good news about getting sober is that you get to feel everything again.  The bad news is that you get to feel everything again.  It's a package deal, this reality stuff.  Even in sobriety I find myself thinking: "I'd love for this bad feeling to just go away."  This is why I drank and took drugs.  And ate too much sugar and worked 15 hour days and exercised compulsively - it's easier moving around a lot than feeling bad feelings.  All motion is easier than quick reflection.  

I love to meditate when I'm in a good mood.  It's fun sitting there soaking up the good vibrations.  Not so much when I'm in pain.

The other good news is that there is a solution.  But the bad news is that it takes a while.

That's all the good news-bad news analogies I have this morning.  

A dude at the meeting yesterday offered this up: "Do you know why it can be easier losing a person that a pet?  Unconditional love."  Might be some truth to that.  The cat never pissed me off intentionally.  The cat never held a grudge.  The cat never hurt my feelings to get back at me although she did bite me from time to time.

It's great having a big group of people to talk to about my difficulties.  Many people only have a couple of friends or family members and a lot of people - especially men - don't have anyone.  The more I go over what happened the less the sting factor, the more the acceptance factor, the more I see that I did the right thing.