Jeebus, the Dee Lama, and Will W.

 Bill W on spirituality and Alcoholics Anonymous: "Let us not pressure anyone with our individual or even our collective views.  In our meeting people from all walks of life come together with a common purpose.  Some members return to their religious roots, others find different spiritual paths.  And many find this 'God of their understanding,' yet never become involved with organized religion.  Still others make the group their higher power."

Ahhh, the God Problem or the God Thing, problematic for many, fatal for some, a great salvation for most.  It's nice to have a working God; you know - a God who can get shit done, who comes through in a pinch, not being someone who sounds good but helps not at all.  Free reign, here, to do whatever feels right to you.

And the Dee Lama chimes in again: "Avoid mentally neglecting the welfare of even one being.  Treat all beings with respect.  In essence, think again and again, 'May I become able to help all beings.' "

Apparently very few of us - alcoholic or not -  pay attention to this Other People thing because the Dee Ell is quite persistent in saying the same thing over and over again, repeating himself, making the exact same point multiple times, reminding us now and later and then a little later still and once more right at the very end.

And straight out of the Bible here's Jeebus himself: "Don't act out of selfish ambition or be conceited.  Instead humbly think of others as being better than yourselves.  Don't be concerned only about your own interests, but also be concerned about the interests of others."

C'mon: Jeebus, the Dee Lama, and Willy W., all in one post?  That's a fearsome threesome right there, all saying the same thing.

Festering

 The Dali L. has this to say this morning:  "Admire from the depths of the heart your own virtues and those of others.  Take joy in the good things you have done in this and previous lives, thinking, 'I have done something good!' "

It makes me think about how alcoholics - masters of the extreme - whipsaw between refusing to admit any faults when drinking to accepting our part in every bad thing that has happened in the world, forever.  How often I've heard stories of sponsors reminding the sponsored to add in the good things that we've done and to forgive ourselves, too.  We haven't been good actors but we aren't monsters, either.

And a man named William Bolitho chimed in from the pages of my daily meditation book: "The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains.  Any fool can do that.  The really important thing is to profit from your  losses."

Reminds me of the probably apocryphal story of a sponsor telling me: "Seaweed, any idiot can be happy when he's getting what he wants."  I'm pretty sure I made that up.  As previously noted I never let the truth  get in the way of a good story.   But it is easy to see the profit in what we gain, but is not so easy to see the profit in what we lose.  How can we change so that we see profits from the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the estrangement from family?  I rarely make significant changes in my being when I'm getting what I want.  I cruise.  I slide by.  And sometimes I fester.

Other People

 "Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type.  Unselfishness recognizes infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it."  Oscar Wilde.

I need to remember this the next time some asshole is doing something that is irritating me.  To be truly unselfish I must be able to enjoy the differences in others.  When I do delight in the variety of people around me, then I feel like I've achieved some true unselfishness, rid of the idea that my way is the best way, the only way.

Spake the Buddha: "You are a minority of one.  It is easy to see that the vast number of sentient beings hoping for happiness and seeking an end to suffering are more important than any one person.  It is therefore eminently reasonable for you to commit yourself to the welfare of innumerable others, to use your body, speech, and mind for their good, and to abandon an attitude of just taking care of yourself."

Other people?  Other people?!  There are other people out there?  Hello?  Hello?

Admittance Only

Unmanageable:  Difficult or impossible to manipulate or control.                                                            Admit:  Confess to be true, typically with reluctance. 

Admitted that we were powerless over alcohol   (wait for it . . . wait for it . .  )  that our lives had become unmanageable.

Have you seen the ending of "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?"  The two of them are shot up bad, taking temporary refuge in a shot up saloon, reloading, talking witty shit, working on one more stupid, unworkable, idiotic plan while the rest of us can see hundreds of armed soldiers taking positions on every building in the square.  It's over.  The end is clearly visible to everyone but the two guys whose lives are unmanageable.  That's how I feel today when I'm trying to reason with someone who hasn't come to grips with the unmanageability part.  That's how they felt trying to reason with me.  I knew it to be true but I wasn't ready to admit it.

From the A.A. pamphlet A.A. for alcoholics with mental health issues: "The whole idea of being 'restored to sanity' was confusing and irritating to me until I finally accepted that working the Steps was not going to fix my mental illness.  That is because my mental illness is not a character defect.  It is not spiritual in nature.  Like alcoholism and other addictions, mental illness also tells us that we don't have it."

I also like this Buddhist reminder of the true nature of spirituality: "People who are not Buddhists - Christians, Jews, Moslems, and so forth - can generate an other-concerned attitude of equal value by thinking: 'I will bring about help and happiness for all beings.' "  No judgement.  No right or wrong.  What can I do to be of service to someone else today.

Families . . . Grrrrrr

 I've been meditating for 35 years and I suck at it.  There's a lot of noise in my head and the voices are insistent.  It's not even that they're malignant voices any more, just insistent ones.  Look here, look there, how about this, what about that!  Brains are made for thinking and they're going to get their two cents in.  And get busy!  Be productive!  Do something, do anything!

More about the holidays . . .  The holidays are often overrated and frequently inconvenient and usually a pain in the ass.  SuperK's family members are psychotic to a person and my family is nice to your face while simultaneously making you feel bad about yourself.  Her family is a sledgehammer and mine is a scalpel.  Neither is particularly pleasant.  None of these people are evil, malignant presences but they're not that great to hang out with, either.  I realize there are some really awful families and that there are some really wonderful families and all levels in-between; but I also think there are plenty of families like ours.  Not that bad and not that great but how about you just leave me alone?  That kind of dynamic.

Semantic Satiation

 "A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness."  Fontenelle

Who knows what happiness really is?  Like love, happiness can't really be defined.  Happiness really comes from within.  If we feel a sense of contentment, peace, or joy, then we can bet we're feeling some form of happiness.  As long as we're satisfied with that happy feeling, then we'll feel happiness.  It's when we expect happiness to feel differently that we'll lose our happy feelings.  A guy shared a story once about complaining to his sponsor that he was bored.  "I think what you're feeling is contentment," was his reply.  I know personally that when I spend a lot of time chasing happiness I end up disillusioned.  

Semantic Satiation:  A phenomenon whereby the uninterrupted repetition of a word eventually leads to a sensation that the word has lost its meaning.

I can't say "Happiness" right now without feeling a little weirded out.

Somniloquoy:  Talking in your sleep.  There's no reason to add this definition right now but it's a new word for me that I think is pretty cool.  It's also the name of a song by a heavy metal band called The Dead Eyes.  That's a pretty cool band name, too.

So sayeth the D. Lama:  "Make a lasting, fully reasoned decision - unshakeable by circumstance - that the welfare of so many others is far greater than your own.  From now on, to the full extent of your ability, stop concentrating on your  own welfare and commit yourself deeply to the advancement of all beings."

Be Nice, Goddammit

 "No answer is also an answer."  Danish Proverb

God always hears us, but sometimes the answers aren't immediate or guaranteed.  Sometimes the best answer is no answer, meaning we need to stay in an uncomfortable situation a little longer.  Perhaps there is something we need to learn that can't be learned unless we find it on our own.  God is probably omnipotent.  God definitely has a lot on his plate.  It's great when we turn to our Higher Power for answers but . . . c'mon . . . do we really expect the picayune crap we're praying about to be at the top of God's list?  Instead of asking for shit I want or to be relieved from the onus of shit I don't want how about being grateful for the shit I already got?  In my life there are so many examples of wishes that cannot actually be achieved but are there for the sake of me developing strong will and determination.  Grow, goddammit!

The Buddha says that compassion is the key to achieving a deeper level of morality.  He then asks why do we think we can help others when we ourselves are beset by wrong attitudes?  To paraphase: if we want to bring about the complete happiness of others it's necessary to become personally  enlightened.  We need to develop this altruistic intention.  We need to aspire to enlightenment.  Obviously I'm never going to get there and that's okay.  Just head in that direction.

Or in Alcoholics Anonymous speak: "What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.  Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities."  

See how consistent spirituality is?  All I have to remember is that my higher calling is to not be an asshole today.