Canned Beans

 If you don't want to be afraid don't tell yourself scary stories.  The problem, of course, is that I'm addicted to adrenaline.  I like to go fast.  I like to be on the knife edge.  Peaceful is sort of boring.  Adrenaline is a neurotransmitter that the body secretes when it senses a threat.  If you think you're going to be eaten by a saber-toothed tiger you're going to get a jolt of adrenaline.  Because this kind of threat doesn't pop up too often we manufacture fake, implausible threats so we can enjoy that familiar rush.

I also like to be the center of attention.  I also don't like to sweep my side of the street.  I'd prefer to concentrate on your side of the street.  A lot of the time I just stand out in traffic so I don't even have to pretend I'm interested in cleaning up my side of things.  Plus, I'm a little closer to your side of the street which enables me to see your problems more clearly.

We think too much.  We over-analyze everything.  Quit thinking so much and do something.  I'm watching this cop program where the main character has a sign in his cubicle that says: "Get off your ass and go knock on some doors."  He knows he isn't going to solve any crimes thinking about things.

People who don't have a drinking problem don't wonder if they have a drinking problem.  They can walk down the beer aisle at the grocery store without all kinds of lights and sirens going off.  I'm still fascinated by the beer aisle.  I can walk down it now without breaking out into a cold sweat but it's still a compelling experience.  Before we had all these specialty craft beers I used to be able to tell the different brands just from the color schemes - Busch was blue, Bud was Red, Miller was gold - they didn't have to write the name of their beer on the side of the carton.  I don't know what color Campbell's uses for their soup or Butternut uses for their bread.  If I have to walk by the canned beans to get to the eggs I don't look at all the different kinds of canned beans.  I don't give a shit.  I don't wonder what that brand tastes like or parse the difference between chickpeas and garbanzos.